Mother’s Day

Today I really noticed that Mother’s Day cards were abounding.  Ads for what to get “your Mother” are everywhere to be seen.

Mother’s Day is such a complex day.  Ok, on the surface it celebrates the roles of mothers with cards perhaps lovingly made in schools and a handmade present.  Perhaps the Dad or another relative has reminded the teenage child that a card is essential.  Perhaps they all cook a meal and celebrate the day together.

Perhaps for some women who have never experienced the privilege of motherhood, Mother’s Day is a day for curling up underneath the duvet and indulging in chocolates while allowing the tears to flow freely for those hopes and dreams which were never to be.

Perhaps Mother’s Day is another reminder of the child who is missing.  The hopes for the future again unanswered.  Perhaps a child has distanced himself, mentally/ physically or both.

Perhaps for the mother whose child has died, Mother’s Day is a public reminder of  the void that can never be filled in her heart.

Perhaps Mother’s day  is a reminder to a mother, that because of illness she is no longer able to be a mother and sometimes her child has to be her carer.

Perhaps the mother doesn’t recognise their child as a result of illness.  The laughs which would have been shared can never be shared as the mother retreats from the world.

Perhaps Mother’s Day is a reminder to a child, even an adult child, that the mother who should have nurtured, cared for and protected never existed  for that child.

On the morning of Mother’s Day, I always raise a cup to those mothers who are suffering that little bit more because of the day that is in it.

Perhaps we as women could go a little farther this year? Perhaps we could send a card, ring or call to a mother who is hurting on this year’s Mother’s Day.

A Christmas Card

I know this is going to be contentious but here it goes.  In Ireland over the last 10 years there has been a growing push by charities asking people to donate to a charity and not post or send Christmas Cards.  Why are they doing this?

There are many people and not just older people who look forward to getting Christmas cards in the post.   The card pops through the letter box usually with a Christmas postage stamp, the envelope hand written and inside there is a personal greeting.

Please pause a moment and thing back to the last time you received a personal greeting through the post? Let’s face it the occasion very rarely happens.  With the advent of paperless billing the volume of post has dropped.  Isn’t it good to receive that personal greeting?

Isn’t it wonderful to think that a friend, a colleague, a neighbour, a family member has taken the time to choose a card, write a greeting, address the envelope and then post it.  Isn’t it good to feel that even for a short time you were important to that person?

I attended a workshop during the year and a young lad asked me if I sent cards at Christmas. “Of course,” I replied “but why are you asking”? I learnt that this young lad has a chronic illness and at times it results in anxiety and depression.  When his energy is low and he feels his anxiety rising he will take out one of the Christmas cards he received and remind himself that he is important.

This conversation has remained with me.  We just never know how the simple gesture of sending a Christmas card can impact on someone.  I am sure there are many other examples of the smiles that a Christmas card can evoke.

Then there are the people who make their own Christmas cards who not only get a great buzz of making those cards but who also make others feel very important.  The hours which are spent choosing designs, paper and finally putting it all together before actually sitting down to write the personal greeting.

Many people send cards which they have purchased from specific charities knowing that the money is going back to that charity. These charities range from Children’s hospital to animal welfare. The money from those cards are important to those charities.

Can I ask a question of those charities who are asking people to donate rather than sending out Christmas cards? Why do you not ask people to consider donating the cost of an extra Christmas present? Why are charities not at Easter time asking people to stop buying Easter Eggs and instead donating the money to charity? There has grown the tradition of the 12 Pubs at Christmas in Ireland.  Why have the charities not targeted that?

These charities that ask us to donate instead of sending cards should really consider the impact this has on those who receive these Christmas cards.

 

Christmas puds

Conversations and Meetings

 

There is a need for interaction, for dialogue for the sharing of ideas not just in the written word but also verbally.

In fact, I have to push myself to join a group and continue to push myself to remain within that group.  I have found that by taking on particular roles or jobs it makes me remain active within the group.  For me, there is a need to push the limits.  If those are not expanded at times then my world would shrink.  This I have learnt the hard way and the only person who can stop my world shrinking is me.  Listen I am no saint and many a time I have just remained within the environs of my home.

There are times when I have to push myself to leave the four walls of my home and go out.  Most times it is difficult and then later when I realise I have enjoyed myself I get annoyed with myself.  Talk about a vicious circle.  I don’t think I am alone.  There are many more of us who give the illusion of being at ease meeting people while all the time there is the urge to scurry away and beaver at home.

It is so much easier now to interact with people via Skype, Whats app, video conferencing, texts email, but to actually sit with someone and communicate is just in a different league.  I have been trying to work out just what makes it different and it is the human touch.  Maybe it’s giving a person a lift while having a chat.  Perhaps it is sitting opposite over a cuppa and having eye contact.  Sometimes it is that hug which can speak volumes or maybe it’s that laugh which can lift one out of the doldrums.

Have you ever found that you are in conversation with someone and they can give you an idea for another interest?  Or perhaps expand an interest you already have in a totally different direction?  Or they have a way of listening and giving a response which suddenly makes everything clear. I am blessed to have such a friend. Catherine can take my verbal musings and make things clear for me in just a couple of words. She has an amazing ability to reflect back ideas in a constructive and more importantly concise way.

Perhaps a way to make Skype and all those other electronic conversations more personal and interactive is to share a cuppa. What I mean is that each of the participants has a cup of their favourite brew while they chat. Perhaps have a small bite to eat… can you imagine the exchange of recipes which could ensue especially if the conversation was over thousand of miles.

So if you are going to meet a friend be it in person or  virtual what would be your drink and your nibble? For me it would be a big mug of coffee preferably ground Ugandan coffee beans or Malawian coffee. And to have with it…pineapple upsidedown cake (made by my husband) or lemon meringue pie.