I was sent the above today and it couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. I don’t know about you, but I find it incredibly difficult to say no without the excuse. In fact, I find it extremely difficult to say no even though I know I do not want to do what is being asked of me.
Wouldn’t you think that no I am in my sixties I would have this down to a fine art? But no, it really is something which has to be worked upon. So, when is a reason necessary with an apology? Is it always necessary? Or is it merely a way for an apology to seem less? I think that for me an apology without a reason seemed rather brutal or blunt.
However, I have friends and acquaintances who never give a reason and I just accept the apology. So Why do I feel there is a need? Perhaps with a good friend I can give a reason and those whom I really don’t know don’t require a reason? Then again surely a friend will just accept the apology.
Let me clarify something here. I am talking about having to cancel from an appointment or a coffee or a lunch. This is not a situation where one has hurt another person.
Perhaps, that is the reason? Perhaps there is the feeling that I may be hurt if someone cancelled on me therefore, I need to qualify my apology with a reason.
Then I came across this quote: “Limit your apologies to situations where you did something incorrectly with intent.” https://joinblush.com
Further reading and listening to others is bringing me to the conclusion that nurturing and looking after my own mental health is my responsibility and with it goes the fact that there is absolutely no need for an apology to go with it. I do not apologise for looking after my physical wellbeing so why should I apologise for looking after my mental wellbeing……hmm perhaps there are times when I do apologise for looking after my physical wellbeing as well.
I think that constantly apologising and giving a reason is actually putting that person’s feelings above mine and in so doing devaluing my feelings.